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Telling Your Parents

Telling your parents your engaged is one of the first things you should do.

Immediately after becoming engaged you should personally tell the people in your life who are closest to you. That list may include, but is not limited to, your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your children and any close friends.

Remember once you tell one person of engagement news tends to travel pretty fast. Telling your parents may result in them telling other people. If one relative tells another this may make things easier for you but it may leave the relatives who found out secondhand feeling hurt or angry. A good way to ensure that you are the one telling those closest to you is by have a family dinner. You may need to hold 2 or 3 small get together to tell who’s most important in your lives before sending out a general announcement.

The dinners or get together should be within one week of the engagement, but after telling your parents . Since you are trying to ensure no one finds out before this event make sure not to tell anyone beforehand. For this reason you will want to schedule these dinners as close to the engagement date as possible.

If the two families have not met yet or are not on good terms the dinners should be separate. If they have not met you should try to have a get together for the two families soon afterwards, at least one with the two of you and the parents. You may also have separate meals planned with close friends. This way you can let the people closest to you know before the announcement goes out.

Also, if there are any children from previous marriages they should be told first. This should know before the dinner. You should encourage them to talk about how this makes them feel and help them deal with any transition problems that there may be. They should be told immediately after the acceptance and given a little time to adjust before the dinner party. Also let them know that you do not want them to tell anyone until after the immediate family is told at the party. If the child or children are on good terms with the individual who is about to become their step parent you may even want to allow them to announce it at dinner so they feel involved.

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